and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I understand Curling. That high.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize