Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
