OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
