I'm gonna have a badass scar
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize