i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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