I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
