Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
