Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
are you still at the devil's house?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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