I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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