At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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