Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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