i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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