I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
