I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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