This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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