please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
