i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Randomize
