Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
