when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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