Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so let's talk penis.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize