This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
