he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
