hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
