that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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