I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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