Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize