I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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