After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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