The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
