i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just had sex on a roof
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
