hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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