Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
