my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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