woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
