I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
