Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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