Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
