So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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