I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
