your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
