dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
