If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize