My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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