This girl is more easily done than said...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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