i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
