I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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