I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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