I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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