dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There's always time for handjobs
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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