R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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