I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
