you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
