Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
