she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
