Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
