She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
