All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize