He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
