please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Bring me that man meat
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize