I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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