The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
