you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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